Monday, 10 October 2016

'Hug A Hogger' Day

Hug A Hogger
The main issue with the Tory government is that they just love to breed and foster 'hate'.
It doesn't matter 'who hates who' because there is profit in hate. They even create the environment where they encourage the hatred of themselves, why? because it makes it easier for them to hate you. It's much easier to persecute someone you hate, than someone you love. 
But as socialists we shouldn't hate those who hate us, no, we should learn to pity them, to show them a little love and to show them that they can be rehabilitated into decent society.
That's why today I am promoting 'Hug A Hogger', day.
Hoggers are people who have never understood or experienced true love, fairness and equality. Its a scandal that so many of the children of hoggers, were voluntarily rejected and discarded by their parents as infants and dragged up, in the cold and isolated, socially toxic environment of private education. Learning that the only true friend, that they will ever have, who will stick by them, through thick and thin, is money. Where they learn the art that sacrificing one 'real' friend to gain all of their paper friends is natural, normal and then they tragically call it 'success'. 
In a decent society, this is known as the socially unacceptable art of 'backstabbing'. The result is the creation of a morally void, socially defective and emotionally barren individual, incapable of independent thought. The closest thing we have to this type of education that we as humanists might recognise, is 'waterboarding'. 
There are a few, who despite their disadvantaged start in life, have successfully discovered the strength to climb out of the sewers of capitalism and neoliberalism to lead decent, honourable and productive lives. Who have resisted the lure of a fast billion or two from working outside of the boundaries of society (I deeply respect these individuals for having the courage to free themselves of their wayward upbringing, to gift themselves a better life and more importantly, to learn from them, how they achieved it).

Sadly, for the many hoggers who made it into decent society, there are countless more who succumbed. The old expression 'there is no honesty, fairness and equality in hogging' is as true today as it has always been. 
There are three main types of 'hogger'. There are the 'Fallonettes' the 'Bransonistas' and the May'shters, however, recently a deeply disturbing new strain, the 'Ruddenophobe' has been discovered, although this strain is causing the re-emergence of a disease we had previously thought dormant. On a happier note, I am happy to announce though, that the problem we had with the Crabbs last year, has been cleared up.
We know that hogging is contagious and has been permeating through decent society for decades. There are cases where decent people, from all walks of actual societal life, have been thinking themselves as hoggers and defending the May'shters. However, we don't believe that this condition is terminal or irreversible and can be cured. The infected are easily recognisable. They are usually intelligent people, but they possess a very limited vision of an alternative future. They have been made to mistakenly believe that the future of wealth, prosperity and success of the country is in their hands. That to create wealth they must believe in the hoggers vicious circle of increasing productivity for the lowest wages while paying no tax. This leads to the creation of more businesses where they can increase productivity, for the lowest wages while paying no tax. As they are intelligent they can be turned but they need a bloody good explanation as to why?

So friends, it is up to us to stop this neoliberal merry-go-round. To show the hoggers that instead of creating poverty to make profit, we can create wealth to create profit. An entirely new and better and more desireable roundabout.
So if you know a hogger, and im sure we all do, let them know we love them, we can forgive them and that there is always a place in decent society reserved for them if they desire it. 
So hug a hogger today.

I will leave you with a short prayer inspirted by St. Francis of Assisi

Where there is discord,
May we bring fairness and equality.
Where there is error,
May we bring socialism.
Where there is doubt,
May we bring security.
And where there is despair,
May we bring decent jobs.

It starts today.

Disclaimer: Hugging is not a literal term, many hoggers do not have the capacity to understand or interrpret a hug and they could break. Hugging a hogger could come in the form of a cup of Earl Grey or a beluga canapé if you feeling adventurous. So be careful.